Flowers of my mind

I have moved to a new blog. See you there.

I have never in my life painted so many people. They are not very detailed but still they have to look right. I have a couple of references, was lucky that I took so many pictures the last time I was in Kashmir at the Havan (fire ceremony) and those come handy now, because of course I want them to look like they are people from the area. I am not sure if I am very good at it though, they seem to end up looking like they are coming from all over the world, which is not too bad ether. Abhinavagupta after all was well known in his times. I even have some Japanese looking girl in there. Oh well, so be it.

I finally got some space and time to myself for painting today, which is a very rare item in my life at the moment, so I am especially grateful for it. I had the whole day of solitude. Well not exactly because the morning kind of got eaten up mostly by washing clothes and breakfast and there was life going on outside the closed door of the room but I could focus almost entirely on painting, and it showed, I think. It seems to disrupt me and stop the flow of painting when people walk in and out of the room and stuff is going on all around me. I don't do well with that. Some people might thrive on it, I don't. So I am happy, with my day and with the result.

Oh, and tomorrow is our masters grandmaster's (Swami Ram) Mahasamadhi (time of leaving the body), so we are going to have a fast all day ("only" french fries and dairy, no grain!) and a feast of Kashmiri dishes in the evening. Yummy!
PS. Swami Ram was the one that made the birth of our spiritual master possible by giving an almond to his mother so she could conceive a boy. Here is a painting I did of the event of the birth and him dancing...

Was looking forward to going to the famous Bellingen market and finally did, but got the date mixed up and so there was no market on. I still enjoyed the trip through the country and seeing the lovely Bellingen river.

It is so sweet to meet the prayer group of my mother in law, who come together in her house every week to pray for other people. People that call them with their problems but who they hardly know are being thought of with such compassion and heart. They are creating such a loving atmosphere that it moves me to tears hearing and singing with them (as much as I can keep up with my first attempts at praying the rosary).

Also learning to bake scones, not much luck with chocolate cake the first time around but the second one is better. I made a simple dress and really enjoyed sewing again, haven't done it for a long time.

I am so excited about swimming in the ocean and the sun on my skin that just to get the most out of it and had to get myself a bikini, the first in my whole live! That's how nice it is here at this time of the year. Just perfect temperatures for me. In the mornings I go for a swim and then lay a bit in the sun, just enough to feel the warmth on my skin, not too much to burn. I hate frying my skin in the sun and I get easily bored. For the afternoons I found a favorite spot under the mango tree in the garden to sit and read a bit. The evenings are great for walking, the sun just about going down. The moisture in the air is great for my skin which is always dry in LA. It started raining when we came here but now it is very sunny. Just beautiful. Wish you were here!

Just finished a little decoupage project. A friend was teaching a little group of us and this is probably not exactly what she had in mind but I kind of liked it in the end. It is a little round container with a lid. I used some of my sketches printed out as a starting point and collaged and painted on top of that. The others made boxes and I started one just before going to Australia. So now that will have to wait till I can finish it.

Started on the details of devotees listening to Abhinavagupta. I wasn't sure if women and men should be sitting separately, as it is the custom now in most of the ashrams, so decided to mix it a little.
Continued on the layers in the background and some more distinguished brushwork on land, and I think it is coming together like I envision it to be, slightly foggy water and the mountains fading into the distance, the fields with the different greens and yellow saffron...
I also painted frames around the lotus ponds, looks more pulled together, and continued the steps leading from the stage which were still hanging in the air.
I wish I could finish it before going to Australia for a month but that seems very unlikely. Well then, I will have to just keep going until it is done just like everything else in life.

Continued with painting the clouds, the mountains and the water and some of the grass, with blue and then again with white and acrylic gloss. I wanted to get the same clouded feeling that I get from the pictures and from my memory, foggy sort of and disappearing in the distance into a beautiful blue gray. Yet I can still see the grain of the wood and the brushwork is too much no matter how fine I am layering. May have to turn around and try different brushwork with small strokes like the impressionists, have done that before and it looked great but then the overall pictures was that way. With this I kind of started off much more detailed. I will see how it works. Because the idea is for it to be more diffuse and yet it shows too much of a brush and grain for me still.

Reading vanGogh's letters to his brother Theo. What a wonderful relationship he has with his brother, who is a real mentor, admirer and supporter of his ideas and encourages him on every bend and corner, and who would know him better than his brother. VanGogh was very interested in drawing, which has come back into "fashion" after it has been living a very neglected existence. He is using it more as a tool for understanding and sketches for later works in oil, although he also writes about selling pieces for a living and being an illustrator. What a shame that they sell his paintings for millions and he hardly had anything to eat and barely a roof over his head and needed the help of his brother his whole life to make ends meet. And yet what a blessing for his brother to have so much faith in him, even if it where just for the sake of faith, which it isn't. It also shows a great amount of compassion for his brother.

"Similarly in drawing, one must not count on selling one’s drawings, but it is one’s duty to make them so that they have a certain value and are serious; one must not become careless or indifferent even though disappointed by circumstances."

Here it is with the lotus ponds in place, was easy work to dig them out and plant some...
Next thing will be more difficult, adding people on the left and right. Right now they are only "ballon-heads".

Yep, thats me, as a friend of mine pointed out.
The song reminds her of our spiritual Teacher and the way we can never get enough of him. "You'r in my blood like holy wine...." Kind of all very much fits except for the part of being in the bar which we were changing into car, or something like that? Makes me sad this song every time, especially thinking of our teacher not being around in person any more, although very much in spirit. But I wish so much for him to be here in person so I can ask him all sorts of questions, which he never liked, so maybe it's not all that bad the way it is, and I am still getting my answers although in a different, unexpected way.

A case of you

Just before our love got lost you said
I am as constant as a northern star
And I said, constant in the darkness
Wheres that at?
If you want me Ill be in the bar

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue tv screen light
I drew a map of canada
Oh canada
And your face sketched on it twice

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh Id still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time that you told me, you said
Love is touching souls
Surely you touched mine
Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
Still Id be on my feet
And still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
Color go to him, stay with him if you can
Oh but be prepared to bleed
Oh but you are in my blood you're my holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darling
Still Id be on my feet
Id still be on my feet